U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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