i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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