Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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