...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just want nice things and good sex
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize