you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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