Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
