I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
