Kiss
Puke
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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