You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
