I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
