CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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