We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
