Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
