dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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