Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
