i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Rumble strips road head = magical
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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