nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
