I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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