Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
