I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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