Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Sober January is a disaster.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
