Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
