i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
