I hate your face
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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