Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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