it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
