Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
