Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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