She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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