i'm signing you up for texting rehab
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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