I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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