Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
