During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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