she was so not down for the gang bang
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
