He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize