Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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