Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
