i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
