Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
