is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
