Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
