I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
