Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize