can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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