...so i touched it.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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