Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm at about main and main street
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
