Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
