i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
