??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
