If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize