i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize