Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
