The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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