Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
