So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
