haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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