what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
