so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I had to cum in my sink.
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