the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
did i just pee glitter
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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